First post. Just wanted to get my thoughts out. My dear hubs (DH) has been pushing me to do this and I finally decided to go for it because I had a moment of overwhelm. (Now I’m getting overwhelmed with this platform, but no big–I’ll figure it out.)
To cut to the chase: I adopted a new way of eating semi-recently. I started off keto and transitioned quickly to animal based aka carnivore because I’m too lazy to meal plan, count macros, grocery shop, etc. etc. etc. I’d rather spend my energy elsewhere.
I’ve researched, listened to podcasts, read books, watched documentaries…the whole nine. From many sources and disciplines–I worry that I’m stuck in an echo chamber sometimes. This way of eating (WOE) is simpler, nourishing, and satiating, and when I stick to it, I feel AMAZING. Most importantly, I sleep better.
Lately, though, I’ve been giving into cravings…sugar cravings. And candy is plentiful at work. And I work nights. I know my hormones are out of whack and I know there are other things at play here biologically, but my mini meltdown came about when I thought: “Why do I keep sabotaging myself?!”
I know how much better I feel with this WOE so why do I keep giving in? It’s interesting to think about the neuro patterning at play here…experiences from long ago that impacted our bodies so deeply that they’ve created patterns…ways of reacting to similar situations.
It’s something I’ve been working on by way of several different healing modalities, and I know crying is just part of that old gunk releasing.
Thinking about my cravings as a form of self sabotage reminded me…it was something I used to tell DH. I know his heart, and for awhile, I used to worry that his self sabotage came from somewhere deep inside, believing that he didn’t deserve good things. Maybe because good things never lasted…or they ended up being a disappointment…?
My tears are for him as well…for the little human in there. I know his heart and he deserves ALL the good things. And I hope he truly believes it some day.
Slowly but surely, we’ll both get there.