My three-day weekend was tiring AF. Working nights takes its own toll, and then we had to travel to my in-laws to go visit a sick family member the next morning. By the time we arrived at my in-laws, it was quite late and I was on perhaps 3 hours of sleep, if I’m being generous. We caught up briefly on life things and started playing board games, as we always day, and they started drinking…as they always do.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my in-laws. They are my family. I spend more time with them than I do my own family. But the drinking is bothersome. Everyone has their own emotional gunk they’re dealing with, but instead of having real conversations, everyone talks over each other about things like…vacuum cleaners. As an empath, it is quite exhausting and it’s total sensory overload.
DH is the one who told me to start blogging, even if it’s only a paragraph, but I don’t know if I even want him to read this yet. He is going through his own process as well. Fortunately, he’s been going to therapy, and there is still work to be done, but I can’t help but wish his parents and sister would consider it as well. I might need to excuse myself the next time he plans a visit but it’s hard because of his family member being in poor health.
Then after driving home, we had dinner with some out-of-town friends where the music was ridiculously loud and horrible. Yesterday we drove around all day together, and much of it was quite daunting down windy roads and in awful traffic.
Needless to say, by the end of yesterday, I was absolutely spent. It doesn’t seem like a lot as I write it here, and this is obviously a condensed version of all the goings on, but suffice it to say that when you’re constantly operating at a negative sleep balance, it doesn’t take very much to wipe you out.
Fortunately when I do sleep, it’s deep and restful, for the most part, even if it’s not as much as I want. But I’m so looking forward to the days when DH and I are financially independent so we can sleep and wake with the sun. To be able to have a routine together. To be able to flow WITH the current instead of against it all the time.
Almost everything I do–the way I eat, the type of yoga I do, the light “hacks”, the blue blockers, the not working out, the laying in bed constantly–are to negate the horrible effects of night shift life. It’s all to RECOVER from night shift. I’m blessed for my job because it’s allowing us to reaching FI (financial independence) in our 40s, but…
I. Am. Tired.